WARREN PIECE: Hope in a bottle
Warrenton woman helps others with multiple sclerosis
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| Bill Barrett photo -- Debe Friedhoff shares her "Hope in a Bottle" with anyone who suffers. She said she never sells the bottles because, "Hope can only be shared." |
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There's good reason for that. Friedhoff, who is 54, is on the last possible "disease-controlling medication" for multiple sclerosis. She's gone through three medications in four years.
"I focus a lot on time and clocks," she said. "I think a lot of it is that I have MS. I'm always thinking, 'How much time before a cure is found?' or 'How much time before I have to switch medicines?'"So, clocks show up in her "altered art," multimedia pieces that include photos, jewelry and other odds and ends she's discovered.
But if time is always on her mind, so is hope. That's a hope that Friedhoff, of Warrenton, shares with an online network of friends throughout the country. These e-mail and Instant Message pals, like her, have multiple sclerosis. She calls them her "goddess friends."
MS is an autoimmune condition in which the immune system attacks the central nervous system. It can cause a number of physical and cognitive symptoms.
She sent her first bottle of "Goddess Dust" to one of her online friends whose husband contracted peritonitis after gall bladder surgery. It was her way of reaching across the miles to let her friend know that Friedhoff supported her and was praying for her.
"Goddess Dust" is a decorated bottle filled with colored powder, which she shares only with her network of "goddess friends." Her friend hung it on her husband's IV cart.
"She told the nurses, 'No one touch this. It will cure him,'" she said. "If that's the way she needs to think about it, OK with me."
Her friend's husband recovered, by the way.
Her MS has given her a need to reach out to others who are suffering, Friedhoff said. That's how her Bottles of Hope got started. She got the idea from reading about cancer patients who shared "Messages in a Bottle" to encourage each other.
Hers are individually made, but they're always decorated with the word "Hope" and a picture of an angel.
"I want to give them something to remind you that you're not alone, and here's something to remind you that you're not alone," Friedhoff said. "It's something to hang on to when you go into an MRI machine - it's not magnetic. I call it, 'Carrying courage in your pocket.'"
One woman asked to buy one of her Bottles of Hope. Friedhoff said no.
"Hope can only be shared," she said. "You can't buy it. It's not for sale. It can only be shared with someone in dire need - financial, health or whatever."
She wants to volunteer to teach others to make Bottles of Hope, whether it's a church or support group.
"This isn't something that can end up in a Christmas bazaar. This is something you would make for someone to show them 'We understand you're suffering, that you have a profound need, and we're praying for you and we support you," she said.
She hopes to receive a grant or some support from the Multiple Sclerosis Society to help support and expand on "Bottles of Hope."
Friedhoff does sell her artwork, just not the Bottles of Hope. In fact, she first sold a piece of her art last May at an art show in Denver. It was a piece titled "The Art of Living with MS."
"It was my first red dot," she said. A red dot denotes a sold piece of art at an art show.
"I do need to sell some of my art to make up for all the things I give away," she said.
Much of Friedhoff's artwork falls into a category called "altered art." She might decorate shoes, a record album or a clock. She'll cover a bottle with colored bits of tissue paper, and the results look polished.
She credits her "altered brain" for this outlet.
"Creativity was always there," she said. She was a dance teacher, and then poured creativity into landscaping and building rock walls. When she was diagnosed with MS, the symptoms made it impossible to continue that work, although she is in good shape physically.
Walk past Friedhoff in the store, and you wouldn't tell she has multiple sclerosis. She used to say she had "MS lite." But she has gotten worse over the last few years. The disease has altered her brain, she said.
Multi-tasking is difficult for her. There's no music on in the office at Shelter Insurance in Warrenton because she can't focus with the distraction. There's physical and mental challenges and some depression.
She used to be able to take things apart and put them together again. That's gone.
"It's like there are little black holes in my brain now," she said.
But MS has given back some of what it's taken away, she said.
"My mind is altered," she said. "All of a sudden, I started thinking of all of this stuff. Then, I discovered altered art."
She's also gotten great support from her husband, Gene Friedhoff. One day, she was working in the spare bedroom, with bins and boxes of material all around her when Gene walked in.
"He said, 'You don't have enough room here, do you?'" she recalled. "So he completely gave up the master bedroom, and moved the king-size bed into what should be the spare bedroom."
She has the support of her husband, friends and online network of "goddess friends."
But most important to her, Friedhoff shares hope in her altered life and through her altered art.
"I have a need to reach out to people who are suffering," Friedhoff said. "I know as long as I keep getting ideas for projects and can send people something, I'm giving something back."
